Friday, November 8, 2013


While at lunch duty yesterday (you know, to keep a food fight from breaking out...) I saw a kid eating a plate of pizza rolls. I thought to myself: "I haven't had pizza rolls in a long time, I think I should get on that."  So that's what I did. Pizza rolls for dinner. 

As I was laying out my pizza rolls in the most organized and logical of fashions on the cookie tray I found myself a bit befuddled. Where does this one go?

I had five rows of eight, right?  Let me count again. Yeah. Each row has eight. I have five rows. Five times eight is forty, right?  But that can't be right, I still have a pizza roll in my hand...  Logic was stumping me until I came to the slow realization that I had hit the pizza roll jackpot!

Quality control had failed in my favor by giving me a bonus pizza roll!  Normally when quality control screws up someone ends up finding a severed thumb or something. Me?  I get an extra delicious pizza roll!

Of course I posted about it, so this may be old news to some of you.  I got a wide range of responses. Most people shared my excitement. Some questioned "who even counts their pizza rolls?"

I thought I'd take this to the next level and share the fact that I beat the system, with the system. I posted on Totino's Facebook page: 41 pizza rolls. Quality control fail is my win! (With the above picture)

I received a prompt, and somewhat strange response from Totino's. 

Hi Michael,

I'm sorry to hear you were unintentionally shorted on the # of pizza rolls in the Totino's Pizza Rolls package you purchased. You can be assured that our quality team will be made aware of your experience. Please help me prevent this from happening in the future by providing the following information if it's still available.

• Product UPC
• Better If Used By code date
• Was the package properly sealed?

I'd like to send you coupons so that you can enjoy a couple of packages of Totino's Pizza Rolls on us. Will you message us with your mailing address? If so, please send us all of the information requested in one private message. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Thank you,


I do like the offer for free pizza rolls, buuuuut I wasn't shorted pizza rolls, I was psyched I got ONE extra.... unless they have 45 packs and in which case they thought I was shorted 4?  But in any case I have to ask - was my picture and SHORT statement too hard to dicypher? Is counting not the only issue at Tostino's headquarters, are there also issues with their literacy skills?

I may have uncovered a hornets nest of issues. 

Bottom line, after my confusion I was psyched to have scored A free pizza roll. Unfortunately for me, my conscious doesn't allow me to take advantage of Fred's misunderstanding of my post and scoring bags of free pizza rolls. Call me a sucker, but I don't want to live off of ill acquired pizza rolls.  Plus, the statement "You can be assured that our quality team will be made aware of your experience" sounds a bit ominous...  Don't fire anyone Fred, it'll be alright. 


  1. I would send the information, and correct the misunderstanding in a private message, and if they still send you free pizza rolls, the moral onus is off your shoulders and you can enjoy your roof-of-the-mouth-burners guilt free.

  2. "Bitter is the pizza roll that comes from others misfortune"
    -William Faulkner