Friday, June 27, 2014

It's all about...

Annie and I watched the Lego movie the other day, cause why not?  There were a ton of hollywood types lending their voices to the movie, so that was a fun game to play - identify the voice.  I won.  Although, I am horrible with names so I usually had to explain the actor by "you know, that guy/girl in that show where they..."  Still, a win.

So why do I bring this amazing fact of my life up to you here?  Because of the most awesome song ever that plays in the movie.  One of those songs that gets stuck in your head and ruins your life for a couple of days.

(you really only need to listen to the chorus to get the glory of the song - it starts with the chorus, you're welcome.)

Something else you may not know about me, I often rewrite lyrics to songs because most artists screwed it up the first time and my lyrics are universal... typically revolving around poop, because 

My lyrics for Everything is Awesome revolve specifically around the poop substitute dookie.  Come on, you haven't heard dookie before?  Yes you have, think back to when we were teens.

Green Day made their opening statement.

Even Hulk Hogan knew what it was about.

And we can't forget the best ad campaign EVER.

Ok, now that you are up to speed I'll bring you back to the present.  So I rewrote the lyrics and was having fun singing around the house (to Annie's dismay) and a day or two later single speed superhero Rich Dillen drops dookie in his blog.  

Since the signs are all around us... or above on this page... it is time I share my lyrics with the world.  So here is the song again (this time edited to be more chorus focused).

So now that you know the song.... let's review the original lyrics:

Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome, when we're living our dream


Here are my improved lyrics:

Everybody dookies
Everybody dookies when they pee
Everybody dookies, cause it hurts if you don't

Profound, I know. 

Let's compare validity of respective lyrics:

Everything is awesome (many would not agree with that statement)
Everybody dookies (universal truth) - I win

Everything is cool when you're part of a team (hmmm, some teammates are dicks)
Everybody dookies when they pee (not sure that is totally true?) - tie?

Everything is awesome, when we're living our dream (yes, everything would be awesome if we were all living our dream... but we're not, so it's not awesome - thanks for reminding us)
Everybody dookies, cause it hurts if you don't (true) - I win 

So there, irrefutable evidence that my version is better.  And yes, I only wrote three lines to the song - did you listen to the whole thing?  You only need those three lines.

Go ride a bike or something.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I tried.

Yesterday morning it looked like our social ride might get rained out.  Then the forecast got better and it looked like the rain wouldn't happen until after the ride - sweet.  I stopped by and said "hey" to Mark at The Cycle Path and picked up a new rear tire for the Glow Worm.  

Went home, was randomly exhausted.  I had to keep repeating to myself "I should ride" as motivation fell off the face of the planet.  I checked the ride status (still on) and got to messing around with the Glow Worm.  I decided to first see if I could get the current rear tire to seal up in the confines of the Bike Haven.  Some sputtering and she sealed.  Would she hold?  

Hemming and hawing commenced - do I "risk it" or just put the new tire on?

Time was short, old tire stayed and I hauled ass over to the Whitewater Center.  Round the corner to see a red flag flying = trails closed.  I pull up "what happened??" (it hadn't rained up at work, hadn't rained in my hood)

"It rained hard, for like an hour so they shut the trails down... sorry man.  They will be open tomorrow... probably."

I pull into the parking lot and check the forums - about 7 minutes AFTER I checked it was posted that the trail was closed and the ride was moved... across town.  No ride for me.

So I did this instead.

It was good.  Better than a ride and food/beer - probably not.  But it was a decent substitute.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

big wheels

I heard a song one time, something about big wheels keep on turning... I dunno.  It doesn't make any real sense to me since I haven't turned over my big wheels (any of them) in over two weeks.  Yeah.  Sucks.

Last week - Aruba = feet in the sand, beer in the hand.
The week prior... no real excuse other than lazily getting ready for vacation.  Laziness leading to not taking care of my bikes (Glow Worm - flat rear now with a tube in it = need to inspect rear tire/more than likely get a new one... Silk Worm - flat rear now with a tube in it = need to inspect the rear to figure out why I flatted in the first place, maybe just switch out the tire...) and then not riding.

Have I progressed on either front?  Not really.  Today is Tuesday.  Tuesday is the day of the social ride.  This Tuesday also happens to be a day of forecasted rain.  Great.

If the rain holds off and the ride is on I have two choices.  Get my ass in gear after work and get a new tire and mount it up tubeless so everything will be right with the world or ride as is with a tube.  Now, why is there even a dilemma?  What is wrong with riding with a tube?  I have no idea.... Really, I don't...  It's been so long since I have ridden with tubes it just seems like a temporary fix and not something you should be doing on the regular.  It's just what my gut makes me feel, ok?

Chances are since The Cycle Path is so close to work I'll head over there, see if they have something that I want to throw on the Glow Worm and take it from there.  If they do, super.  If they don't I'll pout but ride - if the rains don't wash us away.

Even though I haven't been riding (and really need to flip this situation on it's head, it's summer and I have mucho free time it's a sin I'm not hammering myself to death on the trails or even the roads) other have... and they have been in style (?)

Of course, this was a Walmart parking lot - where else?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Back to Reality

Like any good vanishing act I didn't give you warning that I'd be gone.  But I'm back. I stopped the blogage prematurely I know, but whatever. It's my summer break. Things got lazy and I was looking forward to our trip to Aruba.  That's where I've been for the last week.

Never been?  Go there. It's perfect, ALL OF THE TIME. Well, pretty much. There was that one time where it stormed and the entire island lost power, but whatever.  Most of the time it is a sunny 81 degrees with a nice breeze heading out to sea. 

This year Annie and I were celebrating our anniversary. The plan was to return to Aruba (where we got married, celebrated our honeymoon, and returned again for our one year anniversary) for our 5th anniversary but we had to postpone it for a year since we bought a house, and that thing was expensive!

When we got out of the airport in Aruba something hit us in the face instantly - wind.  Not just the normal ocean breeze, but huh-whind!  The kind that makes it hard to keep a car door open as you are getting in huh-whind.

A quick check of the weather told us that it would be huh-windy all week!


It didn't matter much.  We were still on an island paradise.

My week consisted of: breakfast around 9:40, working out (yes it took me going on vacation to get back in the gym), taking a walk on the beach with Annie, dip in the ocean, lunch, happy hour, dinner, etc.  Pretty kick ass week.  We got to go to a couple of great restaurants, watch a movie on the beach, get a couple massage, get comped a couple too many bottles of champagne.  We were balling out of control.

So much so that we were ready to get home and see the puppies.  Not ready to tackle the bike stuff that needs to get done to make things happily rideable.  Not ready to do chores in the yard.  Definitely NOT ready to go back to work.  But ready to be home.  It is nice to be back.  And today I'm back at work.  Yeah, it's the summer, but they pull me back for a few days over the summer.  So for the next couple of weeks I'll be killing myself with 3 day weeks.  I know, it's rough.

Oh, if you ever find your way down to Aruba let me know and I'd be more than happy to give you some pointers on where to go/what to do - I'm a pro at being down there.  

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

while we are at it

Let's keep it rolling in terms of sharing new stuff around here.  A little while ago I was out on some local "secret" trails doing some trail work.  I don't do enough trail work.  I think my current pace is about once a year - not too good...  That needs to change.  And this is a trail where it can change.  This trail is new.  This trail isn't built with the general public in mind so we don't have to worry about how challenging a section is - if we like it, we build it.  I can get behind that!!

Anyway, while out walking the trail to see what has been built since the last time I was out there and what we were going to be working on that day I started thinking about my hike on the Appalachian Trail.  It was real nice to be out in the woods.  And while out there, we I was reminded that wildlife was all around, even in Charlotte.

Early on in the trail I came upon this.

Looked like vertebra, likely deer.  TomTom informed me that there were a ton of deer around early morning/dusk, and sure enough a few steps further on the trail and we could see deer tracks across the trail.  Later as we were hiking through the flagged section of trail-to-be TomTom stepped right on this guy.

I was walking behind TomTom and saw his foot slip on something, and there was this guy.  I guess he was hiding under the green leaves.  I checked him out, seemed like his shell did the job so I snapped a quick photo and left him be.  He was up on the side of a hill, so I was kinda curious as to where he was off to... but we had work to do.

That day we cleared some good trail.  It was nice to be out there with TomTom, G3, and TheMutt.  Normally we just ride together, so it was nice to be putting in some work together.  Towards the end of our work day I was clearing a rotted log out of the way and uncovered this monstrosity...

Grossest grub in the world.  I don't even want to know what that thing turns into... if it turns into anything?  It grossed me out, I was done!

So yeah, being out in the woods made me think about hiking, so when I got back home I had to order a few things I knew I needed/wanted for hammock hiking.  To the internerd!!

A few days later my stuff arrived, yay!

Setting up my hammock isn't hard, and doesn't take too long, but I learned of a technique that makes it even easier and faster... so why not??  I ordered up two carabiners and 4 descending rings to allow for a "no knot" hanging of the hammock that will cut set up time down to oh, about a minute.  It will allow for quick set up and take down, easy adjustments to center the hammock between two trees or adjust the height.  

The headlamp was on sale, and it would be nice to have rather than a flashlight so that I could hike in the dark if necessary, or just have light around camp at night.  There are a couple other things I know I need for the trip, but I have time.  I'm sure while I'm hiking I will hit sections where I will think to myself "man this would be sweet on a mountain bike," but I think it will be nice to slow down for a bit and enjoy the journey in a different way.

Monday, June 9, 2014


Ok, so I'm trying to climb back out of this summertime slack fest I fell hard into since my first day of summer break hit on Thursday. I figure getting back on track (even for a few days since I'll be headed to Aruba soon ) needed to happen sooner than later so I don't "slack" the entire summer away.

I have a bunch of random things to catch up on, (much of which I'll likely forget before ever retelling) but let's ease back into this thing, shall we?

On two straight meetings with TheMutt I received gifts. On the first occasion I was the beneficiary of his ability to procure sponsorship.  He gave me a little "taste" of the goods he gets - ProGold ProLink Chain Lube - with two stickers!!  Bike stuff with stickers tastes so much sweeter. Not that I'll actually taste this stuff as it is chain lube and probably not meant to be ingested.

Actually, quite the opposite!  

It's harmful and/or fatal if swallowed.... so don't swallow it.  AT ALL!!

I'm not quite sure how well it works (I hear good things), currently I'm using Pedro's biodegradable stuff - which is vegetable oil based so you could probably ingest it and be fine - maybe eat some greens while you are at it and have yourself a nice little salad?  But I'll likely give it a go on a day when I'm sure to keep my mouth away from my chain.

The other thing gifted to me was that delicious looking beer you see in the picture.  TheMutt's own home-brew.  Let me tell you, D- Lish- US.  When I popped the top off that sweet bottle (earned points just from the bottle itself!) I got the craziest amazing...est smell ever.  I couldn't quite place it , perhaps a hint of vanilla, but it made my mouth water instantly.  I poured and let it sit as instructed.  It was hard to let it sit so I had to go busy myself with mindless nonsense for a few minutes so I wouldn't rush the taste test.

First sip.  No vanilla/mystery smell hints in it.  But it was smooth.  TheMutt had claimed that it was super hoppy and super bitter, I did get hops (not overly hoppy to the extent that I thought I was drinking christmas tree water or straight eating weed) and not too bitter at all.  The first sip did give me a slight bitter aftertaste, but that was missing from each subsequent taste.  Overall it was a pleasant beer, with an unknown alcohol content that I can only attest to being "solid."  The beer worked!  Very enjoyable beer with no negative notes to it that I could taste in my one.... little... glass.... (not so subtle hint that I would be happen to further my research with another bottle or more).

Big thanks to TheMutt for sharing the wealth, and to ProGold for supporting one heck of a great guy!

Monday, June 2, 2014

it's something

So last week I feel off of the blogisphere due to a conference I was attending.  Sure it was in Charlotte, and sure I could have gotten up early to blog.  But I didn't.  I slept in (since the conference was closer and started later than actual work).  So thank you for being so understanding.

Bombs exploded this morning, so a "real" post won't happen, but I feel so guilty about not posting last week that I'm here.  Briefly.

The other week I pulled out my sweet Southern Wheelworks t-shirt and noticed something.  Fading.

Will I stop wearing it.  NO.  Am I bummer.  Yeah.  

Annie knows how much of a bummer this is to me, so as she looked at my face (as I was looking in despair at my glorious t-shirt) "Well, I guess you'll have to get a new set of wheels."

She wasn't joking.

Bewildered I looked up at her.  "Huh?"

"You'll have to get a new set of wheels so you can get a new t-shirt, right?"

My face was likely enveloped with my smile - "SURE!"

Would I like a new wheel set - who wouldn't?  But I honestly don't need one and wouldn't know what I would get if I did have access to a new set.  I couldn't rightfully do it.  I let her know that I got the t-shirt separate from the wheelset, and that I could likely get another t-shirt (without buying a whole new wheelset).  But man... Just shows how lucky I am to have such a loving and supportive wife.  One that would let me get another wheelset just to get a t-shirt.  I do love me some t-shirts!