Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Loco Lime is dead to me

$1 Taco Night.

Sounds "good."  I mean really, there has to be a catch with $1 anything, but for a post ride meal $1 tacos sounds like a legit way to go.  I guess I'll start by saying, thank goodness it wasn't a real ride.

Last night our normal Tuesday social was once again disrupted by the wet weather we've been having around here.  So it was going to be an urban assault ride.  This time around the Divas were joining us taking over.  The focus of the ride really stuck to the SOCIAL part of things as we first hit up a local brewery, then a coffee house, and finally back for the tacos.

We had a bit of a large party, so naturally there was a wait for the table - no problem.  We grabbed a beer from the Kickstand and waited outside for our opportunity to house some tacos.  I was HUNGRY so I ordered 5 tacos to start.

First sign of the bad to come - the food made it to the table before the beers or waters...

Second sign - the beer was flat as all hell...

Then, there were no more signs.  The bottom fell out.  I was done with my tacos about 3 minutes after the plate hit the table and was ready for more.  TheMutt's bottomless pit of a son, Lunchbox, had joined us for the taco extravaganza and had planned on taking a bite out of the 30 taco record.  As I waited patiently for our waiter to return so I could order more tacos and maybe a canned beer to avoid the flatness of the tap beer my stomach began having aspirations of killing the taco record.

Dreams were crushed.  Stomachs were left sad.

This isn't my style, but it has come to this.

Loco Lime, you are now on blast.

Worst. Service. Ever.

Since out waiter wasn't coming back (it had been about 20-30 minutes it seemed) someone from our table asked the food runner if they could another plate of tacos.

He had to get the waiter.  That's "ok" I guess.  But another waiter comes by to see if they can help.
Not really.
She could take our order, but would then have to give it to our waiter so he could put it into the kitchen... and he was "really busy" with another large party.

At this point it's not worth another 5 tacos and shitty beer.  I have to get home.  Finally our guy comes by and there really wasn't anything resembling an apology coming from him - which was SUPER disappointing.

I get things get busy, and people get in over their heads, and service suffers.  But an apology and a gesture to make up for it goes a long way.  Instead, things just fell apart.  Our waiter heard it from Little Miss Sunshine.  The manager heard it from Little Miss Sunshine - she was one unhappy little lady, and with a name like Little Miss Sunshine you know this is a rarity.

At this point Lunchbox was still going to go for the record, but I couldn't stay to see, I had to jet, so I asked for my check.  Another 10 minutes.  Add 8 to run my card.  By that time TheMutt had to throw in the towel on the record chasing as it would be closer to midnight before they were delivered enough tacos to meet the challenge.

$0.00 tip.  I don't think I've ever given a $0.00 tip before.  But Loco Lime earned a $0.00 tip.  As a manager, please reallocate your resources to help out a struggling waiter so people get served at your restaurant - there's a tip.  It's taco night.  Everyone is ordering tacos.  Run the food, run the drinks, keep it moving.

Loco Lime will not see me again.

So on the Glow Worm I hopped, my stomach not full by any means, and rode home.  And that is where I was glad it wasn't a "real ride."  A ride with effort would have left a growling mess in my stomach at that point, so luckily 5 small tacos over a 2:14 "dinner" managed to get me home.  Subtract the wait for the table and we are still looking at ONE HOUR and FIFTY FIVE minutes to get one flat beer, 5 tacos, and a night of misery.

I had cold pizza and whiskey before bed.

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